I’ve officially started the next chapter of my Second life. When I started in Second Life, you could have never convinced me that I’d ever want the family life. Hell, this time last year, you couldn’t have convinced me but it’s a really cool thing to see ourselves and our Second Lives evolve.
Ezra and I welcomed Akello Mena Vanderbuilt-Foxx into the world a day early and right on time for Father’s Day – June 16, 2019. She was 6 pounds 3 ounces and 20.9 inches. Dr. Tripp Dicarlo of Blossom Maternity Clinic made the delivery and it was truly an awesome experience. Granted, Ezra and I are clowns and we were full of laughs but the role play aspect of it all was definitely more than I expected.
So here’s what I learned along the way. This is everything I wanted to know when I started this journey so hopefully it helps other mother/fathers-to-be or those thinking of diving into a Second Life Pregnancy. If you need to learn about how to get pregnant, check out my last pregnancy post.
The Best Body & Huds for Pregnancy
My early struggle was trying to figure out what body to use for the pregnancy. Of course, Maitreya has the most options for mesh bellies but adding on a mesh belly can make figuring out your wardrobe difficult. Also, I like a more rounded, over-dramatic, curvy look for my avatar so I typically wear Hourglass. Hourglass, however, is not made to have a normal looking round belly. I discovered early on I wouldn’t be able to wear that body and get the belly I wanted. I did buy a mesh belly that I never used because I liked using sliders to progress my pregnancy each week.
I started the pregnancy wearing the Legacy body. Partially because the body had just been released and is honestly gorgeous. I know people had a rocky past with them but I never tried the TMP and I was really just looking for a temporary body for this pregnancy and it worked well for the early stages of the pregnancy. Of course it came with deformers so I could wear my normal clothing. I don’t recommend wearing any Hourglass dresses or tops that cover the belly because it will change the look of your belly.
I was finding the Legacy wouldn’t get much bigger than a 1st/2nd trimester look. So, when I was ready to really plump that belly up I switched over to my Belleza Freya. I hadn’t worn it in so long that when I finally went to get the update I was pleasantly surprised. If I could recommend one body for the full pregnancy, it would be Belleza Freya. The belly was perfectly rounded with some add ons I mention below.
Second Life Pregnancy Add ons
- Pregnancy Control Hud – $55L – rounds your belly out no matter which body you wear for a more realistic belly shape and allows your belly to get larger than you can with sliders. Also has options for breathing. I used Neny Pregnant Control Hud.
- Pregnancy Skin – I don’t have a recommendation but there are a few out there that will really enhance the look of your belly. It’ll really be about matching your skin as best as possible. I didn’t want to change my face skin so this was my biggest struggle. (If you have recommendations, please comment below)!
- A Pregnancy Experience Hud – to help with the role play. Will let you know when you’re hungry, need rest, what you’re craving, if you’re sick, etc.
- I started with BabyBundles Real Pregnancy Experience ($99L) – great system for the price, gives you daily stats and very detailed.
- I wanted something a little more realistic and easier to use (no need to rez items out) so I switched over to Wombaby Interactive Belly ($650L). Careful with this one – if you ignore your needs, you can lose the baby. Cool thing – my water actually broke with this one. But there are aspects I like about both!
The real struggle… post-pregnancy – trying to figure out which body to go back to.
Choosing a Clinic
There are soooo many clinics in Second Life. You’ll find a few free clinics if you use Mama Allpa and there are also clinics that sell packages depending on the service you need – how many weeks, twins/triplets, type of birth, etc.
I had no idea what I was doing when choosing a clinic, didn’t know what the experience was like or the types of questions to ask to make sure it would be a good fit.
Before deciding on a clinic or doctor try to have a consultation or read as much information as they provide. Make it very clear from the first conversation how much information you want to know and at what stage – ie if you do not want to know gender, etc.
They’re also so different from one another so I found that I liked going to a couple different ones. Ezra and I have no desire for any more children so we wanted the most out of our experience so we did our pregnancy test and first appointment at one place, our role play and lamaze classes at another and delivery at another. Through all of that, we only spent about $4,000 total on our clinic fees for our 6 week pregnancy.
- Ask for your due date before selecting a package. Some clinics offer free pregnancy tests/consultations. If not, its worth it to pay for it but get your due date. This way you know you’re paying for exactly what you need. If your hud has you due in 6 weeks then you won’t need an 8 week package, for example. However, if you want to extend the pregnancy or shorten it, you have those options. The beauty of Second Life pregnancies.
- Make sure your schedule matches your doctor’s. This was a struggle for us. Ezra and I both have insanely hectic real life jobs and travel often so weekends are our only options. We also knew we’d be missing a few weeks because of travel so we set those dates early on to make sure we weren’t overpaying for packages, knowing we wouldn’t be using all of the weeks. A lot of clinics are open only Monday-Friday or have only one doctor. So always ask what their schedule is, what the process for scheduling appointments is, how many other patients they have, if any other patience are due the time you’re due, etc. These are all issues we ran into so just be prepared and have back up. RL happens too, so just in case your doctor can’t get online for emergencies or an early water breaking, have back up! This is why I think it’s great to have 2-3 doctors.
- Ask for the specifics when it comes to options clinics offer. If they offer Lamaze classes – find out exactly when they are so you know if they work with your schedule before buying a package. Some clinics are really creative and build a community around some of these extra features so get the most out of the experience!
If you’re a doc or work at/own a clinic, please comment so mommy/daddy-to-be can check you out!
Your Baby Shower
There are all types of baby showers in SL and this can be a really fun part of the pregnancy. Planning my own shower was important to me because I love doing stuff like this. I also decided to keep it intimate and similar to some of the real life baby showers I’ve been to. So, I built something in the back yard of my house, invited friends, family and a few girls from The Monarchy over. We had lots of food, some games and gift unboxing. I absolutely adored it. I’ve also seen people throw big parties with DJs. Whatever your style, go for it!
- Baby Registry – this is your time to get some gifts! MP has an awesome wishlist feature that could work as a baby registry. I made my own on this site because I had my invite here
- Invites! There are lots of free Photo shop templates. I also love Canva which is free and has great templates. I added the image to a hud in world. You can also include LMs/Slurls so people have everything they need to get there the day of.
- Incorporate your favorite things – we’re on mainland have an airport beside the house so we flew everyone in with our favorite pilot Doug! After the festivities, we grabbed our swimwear and took the boat out.
Check out my Baby Shower Invite & Registry – there are also a few of my favorite baby shops.
What to Expect of the Birth
Bruh, a baby will come out of your vag. This was unexpected for us. I don’t know why neither of us were expecting it and we’re clearly children and could not stop laughing. Tripp was great about preparing OOC (out of character) along the way so we knew what to expect. My favorite part was deciding on the skin tone of the baby coming out of me. Initially the baby had darker skin than me so Ezra said he was calling Maury. But seriously, it was fun. You see the baby crown, then shoulders come out after a lot of prompts to push. Then voila, you have a baby all cleaned up and in your arms. Ezra was even able to cut the cord.
The gown that was provided covered up some of the mess that was apparently there. I missed it somehow but Ezra said all of my guts came tip toeing out with the baby. We also had some awesome family time in the suite beside the delivery room and received a birth certificate.
That’s all for now! I’m going to do one more pregnancy post about choosing a newborn baby and some of my favorite mesh, animesh and of course avatar babies! In the meantime, check out my Pregnancy Diary for more.